A Thought of A Dream and Pools In Those Eyes

Sometimes I have these dreams that I'm someone else. I have someone else's body, someone else's face, someone else's mind, someone else's experiences and in that place, I'm magnificent. There, I am a work of art, never to be tampered with by the wind and the rain. Never to be torn and tortured, just a strong, independent soul that has nothing missing, nothing taken from it, and nothing ever shall. There's a world where that's all true, floating in the eyes of a second of adoration and when that was found, I wanted to hide there forever. When I see the eyes that are now closed, of the one laying next to me in this room that's been cold for years, I see this thing that dreams of more but has been forced to settle for less. It's not fate, but belonging in those pools that carry so many captured youths as myself, drawn to a mere flame that would serve as the beauty of their imminate death. Exhausted and tired from fighting the heat, at some point, I too must succumb. On that day I shall but pray that the beauty I saw was true, that the place I resided for but a moment, was real. Even you, couldn't take that truth from me. But it is in this cave that I am me, nothing more and nothing less. A twisted swan song for a once hopeful soul dies soft and sweet until blood runs cold.

My Home

This home changed twice around me.
Once it was filled to the brim with books,
With love, with all the luster of youth.
Then the heat escaped,
The ceiling needed patching,
The floor left splinters.
Day turned to night,
But there was no light.
When morning broke I climbed,
To patch those holes,
But I opened my eyes to find,
A room of beauty,
Music and roses,
Orchids and white sand.
The sun shined through,
Diamonds burned my eyes,
This house, this room,
It wasn't mine.
When I blinked it was gone,
I was here again,
My real battered home,
With just one sad song,
Where I suppose I belong.

Demon's Gaze

I see their eyes,
everytime they look through me,
everytime they beg me.
But they can never love me,
it's the curse of this horrid thing I've been given,
to forever dine in lust.
Never to know love,
letting the heart rust.

Children Among Giants

How cruel a blow,
To give your heart only to take it away,
from the beggars, the weepers,
The ones that loved you so.
They'll sit there, just staring,
not knowing whether to stay or go.
Just children among giants,
hoping one will look and admire,
The sure and true beauty,
of the dead flowers and whithering souls.

Flightless Bird

Shouldn't have gotten brave,
Shouldn't have flown away.
Now I've gained this broken wing,
And crawled back here until next spring.

Paramour

Washed up,
worn down, tired, youth.
Hollowed out shell,
visible scars from their use.
Bled until dry,
Still manages to cry.

Destined

I am one of many,
never to be one of a kind.
Unimportant, anonymous lover,
stealing moments, stealing time.
Fool to believe I was anything more.
I know my place now, earned it, so please, I implore,
use me how you want, hold fast or lambaste.
Love me then leave me,
long ago I should have foretaste,
the birth righted life of an outcast I face.
For there's nothing more for me to be than a pistol to the head,
of every soldier I've shared a bed.

Bleed, Child, Bleed

I screamed for help, but you weren't there.
You just sat over there in that chair.
But how could you have known?
In you, I found home.
Watch me drown now, watch me hurt,
as the blood stains reclaim their place on my skirt.
The execution of innocent trust,
played over and over, masked as lust.
Every night they keep haunting,
I hear his, strongest of voices, taunting,
"Foolish child, can't you see?
There's no love for you as is for me.
Your face is too fine,
your love too divine.
Don't wish to belong,
It takes far too long.
See now, my whore?
No one wants you any more.
Come back here, you'll never be free.
Just do me a favor, don't show that face to me."

Final Life to Give

I wonder sometimes,
How it feels to receive.
I see those eyes when I dream,
Finding me.
I hear your whispers,
Were they lies?
Was I daft to believe you wanted me,
Somewhere on this road?


The trust I built for my shattered womb,
Have me, take me,
Just please don't defile me.
For what meant everything to me, meant nothing to you,
Was in familiar vain the most unkindest cut.
A moment was all you needed.
Did you even see me there? Did you know my name? Did you listen?
I needed a century.
One chance,
To piece myself together
From the fall of every tower I've ever built in my childish heart.
But you didn't have that time to give.
Your soul saw the door,
Your body left, with no feeling.


I will drift now,
Fly, broken winged, back to my cage,
Where I will hide apprehensively from the souls to come.
The disturbed February sand lies empty with the knowledge,
There was never love for me there,
Only a search,
For life.
I hope you found it.
I hope you live forever.
With the sad, broken piece of soul I gave you.
Forgive me, my dear, for it was all I had left to give,
For that is the price I've humiliatingly paid,
For living without the eye of a real love to quench my thirst
And clot these wounds.
Eternally gazing upon the nurtured souls,
I am nothing to this world but abused prisoner
Of bones and beauty.


I wrapped that piece neatly,
In a frayed parcel and willingly left it at your door.
I hope it brings you good.
I hope you let it shine like you had once before.
If you asked now for the world,
My love, I'd still give you it entire,
I'd ask of you nothing in return.
For nothing shall ever pass in these eyes,
They hold wisdom above years and an ocean of tears,
I've still to share and yet to cry.
I'll be waiting to the end for you,
Bury my love, as it never lies.
Until my soul finally whithers,
And with it, passion dies.

Within You Without You

"We were talking about the space between us all
And the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth then it's far too late, when they pass away.
We were talking about the love we all could share when we find it
To try our best to hold it there with our love
With our love we could save the world if they only knew.
Try to realize it's all within yourself
No one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small,
And life flows on within you and without you.
We were talking about the love that's gone so cold and the people,
Who gain the world and lose their soul,
They don't know they can't see. Are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find peace of mind,
is waiting there
And the time will come when you see
We're all one, and life flows on within you and without you."

George Harrison