This Weekend In March.

Sometimes it's like not being a real person, the way they look at you. Suddenly you become something less. I didn't feel it right then, I stayed up hoping I wouldn't. And a month later, I felt it more than I had ever felt it before. I wanted to crawl inside myself and hide forever. I don't even know why I'm writing this, it just feels so distant and yet so close still inside of me. Now I feel it all the time.

This Day In January

I wish I could get myself far away from all of this. The truth is, I don't actually believe I have the strength anymore for my convictions. When a year has now passed and your slate of memory has now been cleaned of me, I feel this way is officially empty. You will never see me. I know that now. And what once was my happiest moment, becomes the most challenging day for me, and only me. I realize I have to leave if I am to live. What I was, was nothing to you...I created the illusion of my worth in your eyes. I feel this weight upon me because my time is going fast. I have no strength left on this particular cold day, so I'll stay in bed and let the rain wash this day away.